I stand in front of my clean empty classroom, looking out to where my students would be. My home away from home.
I see their faces looking up at me or distracted while tearing apart an eraser. (There are probably 5 pencils on the floor to go with that torn up eraser.) I see them coming out of their seats because they want to share their answer so badly. I see them reading a book that they wouldn’t have been able to read at the beginning of the year. I see them persevering to find the answer. I see them smiling at me in confidence. I hear them laugh with one another. I hear them beg to read to a friend. I hear their corny jokes, that I absolutely love. I see them bug each other to no end, on purpose. I see them comfort each other when a friend is upset.
But here I am in my empty classroom.
By this point in the year, we’ve become a family. Though dysfunctional at times, we’ve learned to love one another despite our bad days, despite how we hurt one another, despite words or attitudes we wish we could take back. We’ve learned that we are here for one another. We’ve learned that we are safe. We’ve come out of our shells and are thriving. We work all year to get to this place.
And yes, the energy at this time of the year is sometimes unbearable and enough to drive us insane. Behavior problems typically increase at this time in the year. And I know I’ve complained every year in this final stretch.
But what I’ve learned through all of this is that every bad day is worth it. It’s worth being there. It’s worth showing up. It’s worth putting bad days or weeks aside and starting new. It’s worth sitting down the 2 kids who can’t get along. The referrals, the field trips, the testing, the attitudes, the crazy schedules… it’s all worth it. Because classrooms are such delightful places when they are filled with children. No matter how many times I say I want to quit. No matter how many days I go home crying. I lay it all down at the feet of Jesus, and I say “Thank you for every hard thing.”
When I look out at my empty classroom, I am so thankful for the empty tomb. Because of the empty tomb, Jesus breathes life into every place, no matter how dark or empty it may seem. I am not without hope. No, quite the opposite. My life is full of hope. Hope that is set on a Savior that always stays and always has the victory. Though tears may fall on my cheeks, deep in my heart I can find rest in his victory over death, over the darkness so that I can live in the light.
Although my classroom is physically empty now. It is full of memories. Memories I will hold tightly to for a long time. I’m thankful for every moment and every day, good and bad, that has made up our precious year together.
Jesus lifts my eyes from my empty classroom to the empty tomb and says to me, “Take heart! I have overcome the world.” (Jn. 16:33)
For Richer or Poorer. 