These words have taken a while to form. These emotions have taken a while to sort through. These thoughts are not final because I continue to be changed and continue to take a step further each day.
Sometimes loss hits. It comes without an invitation, without notice, and certainly comes with or without preparation. Sometimes loss seems to never make its exit. You long to send it packing, but it keeps showing up in unwanted places. Sometimes you are fine and before you know it you can’t stop the tears. Sometimes you expect to see their face, and you forget their face isn’t here. You look around the room and feel the empty space they leave. Their face is only in pictures and in your memories. You know that they are no longer susceptible to hurt or pain, but you long to hug them or hear their voice or their laughter one last time.
Sometimes you walk much closer with grief than you ever have before. You see it’s effects and it’s demanding energy. You see broken hearts that are trying to gather themselves, trying to use others’ words and presence to gain some strength.
When you’ve been to that place, I believe you understand humanity a little better. You enter a place that you didn’t ask for, but it’s a place where everyone has to go at some point in their life. And somehow you are thankful.
Suddenly, you understand why people are thankful for texts, hugs, words of encouragement, and especially presence.
Suddenly your soul holds to these precious and tender acts of love and kindness. They help you stand. You are thankful for every hug from a stranger because they loved and knew your loved one. You are reminded of God’s love continually and you will truly not forget the comfort brought through a simple word of concern or the power of presence.
There will continue to be those moments of sadness and of heartbreak, but His mercies are new every morning. He brings healing in ways we cannot understand and longs to hold our broken hearts. He longs for us to meet Him in his presence because he knows it is the place where we will feel heard, healed, and completely known and understood. It is the safest place we can go. Our hurt needs the presence of the Lord. He knows our worries, and our stresses, and our decisions that weigh heavy on our minds. He is our true Healer.
I am brought to these verses:
“One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in His temple.” Psalm 27:4
“Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him… The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:8,18
What I’ve learned?
There is great power in presence. You don’t have to say a word. Your presence is medicine for a hurting soul. Your hug is like a bandaid that reminds us of safety and care. Your questions and concern heal and help to process. Your patience and grace is appreciated more than you know.
When you feel you should hug, hug. When you feel you should smile, smile. When you feel you should enter, enter. When you feel you should text, text. When you feel you should go, go. When you feel you should stay, stay. When you say you will pray, pray.
The Father uses us to carry each other in hard times. No matter how awkward you think it might be. Never underestimate the power of your presence and the power of prayer. Your presence can help heal.
But always remember His presence will make us whole.